fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
