I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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