To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
