Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
