I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Say something about gay babies.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
