so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
