No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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