Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
