my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
only if we run a train.
done.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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