Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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