Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
