Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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