How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
