i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
