***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I need to stop coming to work sober
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
