You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
