I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
