I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize