even my farts smell like vagina
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
