party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
