Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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