Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
