Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
