You just made me feel so damn special
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize