He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
