we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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