12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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