U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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