So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
