thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
