I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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