Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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