I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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