Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
