So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
