Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My breasts were aching with rage.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
