honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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