Girls should come with a carfax report
I love having hate sex.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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