That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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