At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
