i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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