so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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