ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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