You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
