I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize