I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
