you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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