yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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