I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
