a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize