is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
