Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
