what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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