So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
