At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Semen is not good for contacts.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize