I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sober January is a disaster.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
