You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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