Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
