What did we do last night that was yellow?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
