So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
