he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
