maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
