It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
