there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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