Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
grandma shit on top of the toilet
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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