If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
