did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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