what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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