I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
