the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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