my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
