is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Enjoy the penises
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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