So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm passing your future prison.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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