Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
