So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
