Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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