uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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