"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
