Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
