so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
