So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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