One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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