new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
